I've been a bit frustrated for the last couple of days. Really just the last 2. I found out that I am to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. I wasn't asked, I was just told that I was expected to be. I later received an email from the bride that said "I love you all and I am thrilled that you all want to stand up there with me on my big day." Needless to say this comment, I'm sure intended to be harmless, has really upset me. The way I interpret it is that the bride has said to me, "I'm glad that I am so important to you that you want to be in my wedding." Instead of, "You as my sister/friend/whatever are so important to me that I can't imagine getting married without you being there and standing up with me." Thank you, Sarah Metivier Tidwell, for using those words almost exactly.
I am no where near the day where I'll get married, so I can't understand what it's like to be a bride. But I know that when I get to that point in my life, it won't be a matter of, "hey, I'm important to you so come stand up with me," it'll be, "you've been so important in my life that I want you to be there and I want you to stand up there with me."
I think it's a concept to apply to all friendships. So earlier today I twittered (my preferred twitter term): "you're so important to me" & "i'm so important to you" are implied in tone & wording... make sure you're sending friends the right message.
Then I realized something horrible.
I have been cross with a friend because I wanted them to think of me as important- well actually I have been cross because I wanted them to hang out with me and they chose other friends and then we got in a stupid fight about something completely different. In my mind it had been "you're important to me and therefore I want to spend time with you," and then when we didn't hang out I felt like, "why am I not important enough to spend time with you!?! (pout like a child)."
So now I just need to figure out how to get over myself and work on being less self-centered. Not about the bride thing, just about the general friends thing. I'll get over the bride thing when I am asked politely to be a bridesmaid- and when I'm not I'll show up with a smile and play nice.
