New Years Resolutions

I've blogged before about how I don't like new years resolutions. Because I don't. Any day is a new day to start a resolution. Except this year, I think I am going to break tradition and make some. I might start them today though, ok, be real, I probably won't start today.

 

This is why, last night on facebook a woman that I really respect and appreciate wrote this:

Tonight is the winter solistice, a full moon and a lunar eclipse. The last time this happened was in the year 1658. New energy is arriving... Now is the time to make your resolutions. What are you going to change in the new year?

 

Interesting, right!?

 

I've given some thought to some stuff lately.

Like, am I spending money on things I want or things I need... I've been pretty horrible at impulse buying lately.

Do I want to dine out, or do I need to dine out?

Do I want to get my underarms waxed, or do I need to get them waxed?

Do I want that new pair of shoes, or do I need that new pair of shoes? (including ski boots)

 

Other things to resolve:

Friendships and relationships that aren't benefitting me. By "benefitting me" I mean causing my more stress than they should. I can think of at least 2. I've told myself that I'm no longer communicating with one of them next year, and I even mean in the one-word-at-a-time-way.

 

I've also been thinking about being good to myself. I'm still ironing that one out.

Also, again considering adding "run a half marathon" to my goals... After running a 5K I'm pretty pumped about the idea... my tibia on the other hand, not totally loving the idea. I've even really upped my calcium lately, so I'm a bit annoyed by that.

Colder Boulder

Today, I ran my first ever 5K race.

I was so nervous! I was calling the event "Death by 5K." I had been planning on running it for about a month, but I didn't register for the race until December 2nd (two days before the race). I was bib #1983. I WAS SO BUMMED!! One person later and I would have been bib #birth-year!! AH! I did see the man wearing #1984, I wanted to go ask him to trade but I practiced some self-control... I did not practice self-control when I saw a fellow Hokie. :)

Anyway, it was COLD. I suppose that's to be expected, based on the name of the race. I started out pretty well. After the first mile I was feeling pretty good. Then I saw that I was going to get to run up-hill for a little bit, I wasn't excited so I decided to get behind someone so I wouldn't race myself up the hill. When I hit the second mile marker I started to get a cramp in my right side; but I told myself "you are over 2/3rds of the way there, you don't need to walk, you can do it." I started to focus on my breathing and felt better. Probably 2-tenths of a mile before the 3 mile marker, I felt good enough to speed up a little. 3rd mile marker came and then I passed a women who was cheering for all the runners, that made me smile, I appreciated her more than she realizes. I actually think I slowed down when I got into the field house, I was a bit uncomfortable with all the people that were in there watching for their friends and seeing me. (haha).

Basically, I rocked it. My friends Colleen and Kim also rocked it! It was so so good.

Rational Decisions

Sad news, my roommate moved out today. She needed a home with a yard and after thinking about it we decided it would be best for her to take that option. My apartment is too small for the energy that she had. Best said: she's the perfect dog for me, but I don't live in the perfect place for her.

It's interesting: when I worked at DU our director refused to get a pet policy, he said that it was unfair to the dog to be living in an apartment. When I first moved to UNC, I had told someone from Virginia that I was thinking about getting a dog and they also told me that it was unfair to the dog for them to live in an apartment. Let's just say, I didn't believe them until I tried it... After a couple nights with Philly I knew that it was unfair for her. I had to keep her kenneled all day, so she wasn't getting the exercise she needed. Our couple days together went kind of like this: longish walk in the morning, kennel for 4 hours, lunch time walk, kennel for just over 4 hours, longish walk in the afternoon, and maybe some kennel time before bed (since I went out for a drink last night and kenneled her for about 2 hours), then bathroom break and then kennel again. It was completely unfair to her, and I felt so guilty about it that I knew she needed to be somewhere that she would have more space to run around.

She was terribly fun having her here. I already miss her, my house is quiet (maybe also because it's 24-hours-quiet-hours on campus) and there was no bundle of joy waiting to see me when I got home. But still, it was the most rational decision.

My New Roommate

So yesterday, I got a roommate. Her name is Philly and she's a Blue Heeler mix (one of my RAs is thinking she's mixed with a Border Collie).

 

Anyway, she might not be permanent. She's a guest until Friday and then we'll make a decision about what's best for her. So it's kind of like we're flirting a little and then deciding if we want to be in a committed relationship... :)

 

So far she's pretty awesome. She's absolutely beautiful. She's mostly well behaved, she's a little bit too excited about cars, which let's just say makes her really fun on a leash...

 

She was living next to a co-worker and that family had been keeping her outside, and she was jumping the fence to play with other dogs, or play with his kids. The family realized that she needed to be inside more regularly and they weren't willing to do that. So my co-worker took her in and his parent's will take her Friday if she and I decide that we're not ready to make that next step in our relationship.

 

More information coming...

Half Full or Half Empty

Recently, I've been trying to figure out if I am an optimist or a pessimist. I tend to assume the worst is going to happen, but I'm also pretty sure great things are in store. A former staff member of mine once told me that I am a dark optimist.

 

Either way, enjoy the photo. It's optimistic. :)

Test #2

Now that I know that I can update my blog with an email. I'm betting I can treat it like my twitter except that I would be able to use more characters. I'll also find it annoying that it will say it's been sent from my blackberry.

I feel like my blog will return to life with this old feature of blogger and my new use of it. I am excited!

Enjoy the photo! It's from December 12, 2009. My friend sent it to me while they were headed skiing and I was headed to EST.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Friday Afternoon Drive

Last week was such an odd week.. it started slow and then it was suddenly over.

I snuck out of work a little early on Friday and decided it would be nice to clear my head a little and take a drive out to Estes Park.

Someone had recently told me about not going all the way on 34, but instead to make a right in Drake and go through Glen Haven.

It was a nice little drive and a great way to clear my head. The aspen were changing at the higher elevations and so I got to enjoy some beautiful yellows before I headed back to Greeley on 34.

Testing...

Apparently I can blog just by sending an email, which will likely increase the number of blogs I write...

The photo is my staff at the top of Old Man Mountain in Estes Park

Summer of Hiking 2010

This summer has been the summer of hiking; Which in my world equals "the summer of awesome." I graduated on June 4th with my masters, spent that weekend moving to Greeley and touring my Dad & Co around Denver and Rocky Mountain National Park a little. After that my Saturday's (well, 1 Sunday and 1 Monday) were spent waking up around 6 a.m. and heading to the mountains to play.

6/14 - Solo Hike to Dream Lake

6/20 - Flatirons with John

6/27 - Emerald Lake with Abigail, Julia and Caroline (plus Mom and Todd)

7/03 - Flatirons with John, Katie and Jameson

7/10 - Mohawk Lake with Brent, Sarah and Shametrice

7/17 - Bierstadt Lake with Kat, Chelsea and Carlos

7/24 - Mt. Elbert with Casey and Amoli

7/31 - Flattop Mountain with David

Enjoy the photos :)

Above: just a teaser...

Below: just awesome...

After my meltdown... I spent too much time thinking...

I've been a bit frustrated for the last couple of days. Really just the last 2. I found out that I am to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. I wasn't asked, I was just told that I was expected to be. I later received an email from the bride that said "I love you all and I am thrilled that you all want to stand up there with me on my big day." Needless to say this comment, I'm sure intended to be harmless, has really upset me. The way I interpret it is that the bride has said to me, "I'm glad that I am so important to you that you want to be in my wedding." Instead of, "You as my sister/friend/whatever are so important to me that I can't imagine getting married without you being there and standing up with me." Thank you, Sarah Metivier Tidwell, for using those words almost exactly.

I am no where near the day where I'll get married, so I can't understand what it's like to be a bride. But I know that when I get to that point in my life, it won't be a matter of, "hey, I'm important to you so come stand up with me," it'll be, "you've been so important in my life that I want you to be there and I want you to stand up there with me."

I think it's a concept to apply to all friendships. So earlier today I twittered (my preferred twitter term): "you're so important to me" & "i'm so important to you" are implied in tone & wording... make sure you're sending friends the right message.

Then I realized something horrible.

I have been cross with a friend because I wanted them to think of me as important- well actually I have been cross because I wanted them to hang out with me and they chose other friends and then we got in a stupid fight about something completely different. In my mind it had been "you're important to me and therefore I want to spend time with you," and then when we didn't hang out I felt like, "why am I not important enough to spend time with you!?! (pout like a child)."

So now I just need to figure out how to get over myself and work on being less self-centered. Not about the bride thing, just about the general friends thing. I'll get over the bride thing when I am asked politely to be a bridesmaid- and when I'm not I'll show up with a smile and play nice.

Children of the 90s

Just wanted to remind everyone that they need to make sure to enter the Children of the 90s - CNS Stores $60 Gift Certificate Giveaway... you should also start following the blog, twitter or become a fan on facebook... it'll change your life.

Got White Privilege?

I saw this today and thought it needed to be shared.
In case you have bad eyes, the second sign says:
What do unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster and reverse discrimination have in common?
THEY DON'T EXIST!!

Contrast

Sunlight and Shadows

Night and Bright

FULL

Performance of Privilege. White. Gender. Female. Marginalized. Angry. Frustrated. Pissed. Confused. Really? I am stronger than that. Validation. I don't need your validation. I shouldn't need your validation. I want your validation. Institutional. Web. That little prick. Cultural tourism. Be good to yourself. Twin flame. Intuition. Resistance. Life is simple. But not easy. Educated. The privilege of education. You're so White. I am White. How am I taking up space as a White person. White female. White female Christian. Can I get some wine with that? Intentional. Think about your impact. Twin flame, really? This week? Not this week. Comprehensive exam. Awesome. That's so much to take in. Running. Sleeping in. Oh my god, my apartment is a disaster. Don't judge me. My head is full. My heart is full. When was the last time I cried? Oh my gosh, I think I'm going to cry this week. Gendered statement. Forking paths. We can't talk here. Be yourself. Be authentic. Go give that feedback. I am feeling so alone in this. You're rude. I love you but you don't get it. I miss you. Anticipated event. Oh my gosh, what if that becomes a non-event. Gasp. My head is so fully. My head is so tired. Why can't I find emotions? Anger is an acceptable emotion. I need more time. My hair is too long. It's snowing. It's raining. It's snowing. It's raining. I hate tornado warnings. Panic. I miss the duck pond. My heart is in Blacksburg. I needed that for me. Do my nails match my outfit? My stomach feels like a disaster. Just like the rest of me. How do you perform gender? Really? Don't be nice like that. This relationship would be better if you were putting out. Am I allowed to say that as a female? Gender roles. Socialization. I want you to be here. Alzheimer's is scary. I never want to lose my memory. Remember. Never forget. Can I forget that? I don't want to take that picture. Shit, why did I forget my camera? Don't step on a crack. You blogged about that day. I thought that, that day. Weird. Ut Prosim. Seriously, my boobs are huge. Sexism. Am I perpetuating that? Damn it. He just lied to me. Don't think I don't know. Because I do. You're not hearing me. You heard me. What does being heard look like? Look at you, you're beautiful. I love you. Please send me a smile. I needed that.

Aren't you glad you haven't been in my head the last week or so... cause that's not even everything...

3.2 for 32 -Denver Hokies 2010

This is why I love being a Hokie.

We are Virginia Tech.

32 Balloons

To be honest, I don't even remember what day it was. It was either August 19, 2007 or April 16, 2008.

On the Drillfield during a memorial event, 32 balloons were released, 1 a minute for 32 minutes. The picture above is of the balloons that were released after the 32 were individually released. I am a visual person, but I don't need a picture to remember this image forever.

I was standing on the Drillfield in a crowd. I remember being tired of standing. The balloons were being released and I was fixated on watching one fly and then being summoned by the bell to return my gaze to see another one released, then turning back to see both flying off. The balloons left, almost equal distance apart by the wind and flew North East from campus, over the Pylons. I stared until I couldn't see them anymore.

As the first one drifted out of my vision, I searched the sky trying to find it again, I couldn't. I thought, "it's gone... forever..." That was a powerful moment, as my next thought was,"forever, they're (friends) gone forever. like I'll never see them again. oh my god." Permanence hit me like a brick being dropped on my chest.

I'm terrified of losing my memory, a pretty ration fear as my grandmother had Alzheimer's. I don't want to forget memories, so I take pictures. It took me a week to use my camera after April 16, 2007. And even then, I didn't take pictures of campus. Those images are burned into my memory and I'm sure I'll never forget them.

Dissonance.

My blood boiled today. I had an International student tell me that he is learning American culture from the student he is currently in a pretty major roommate conflict with. There is a huge language barrier and this American student is not trying very hard to help the ESL student adjust well ; and if you ask me (not that you are) this American student is doing a pretty shitty job of being an example of American culture. Actually, I should correct myself, he’s doing a great job of being a typical American- and that makes me angry.

I’m taking this class called Disrupting Privilege and I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about my White Privilege; sitting in the uncomfortable space that recognizing racism and systematic oppression creates. This might have created some of the anger that arose in that situation. There is nothing more frustrating than listening to a student tell you they deserve something, when they don’t realize that they are saying, “I am White, I deserve this.”

So my afternoon progressed in an interesting manner afterwards:

I was boiling mad, and then texted my male friend and said “How about a hug later?” After that, I walked into the lobby and one of my students said, “Susan, why do you look pissed?” and I said, “Because I’m boiling mad.” To which he responded by walking towards me and basically plowing me over with a hug. We ended up walking towards my class via Jazzman’s and talking for about 30 minutes. It was really nice, he hadn’t caught up in a while, and I tend to enjoy my conversations with him.

In class, we got into a conversation about gender.

Then I became mad at myself.

I don’t particularly like the dominant narrative. While some days I WANT to be in a relationship, I don’t NEED one. I’ve seen too many marriages fail, and I don’t generally trust the institution of marriage as a general idea. I don’t see myself getting married any time soon. I dislike relying on males for pretty much anything. I get angry at sexism in media and hate when commercials suggest that men are stronger or better than females.

Yet me, with my feminist opinions, still wanted a hug from a male friend at the end of a rough meeting!! And this isn’t new. When I was at Virginia Tech, BPM regularly would meet me outside of Norris to take a deep breath with me to calm me down (and we probably hugged it out at the end); and P used to give me a hug every time I saw him (because I trained him to give hugs).

Oddly, last week I turned down a hug from the same friend I texted to ask for one today. Mostly since it’s not the norm of our relationship to hug; it was an unexpected shift that I wasn’t ready to make, so I was rude and walked away. Being rude is a norm of our relationship, so I was fine with maintaining that.

So now I’m sitting in my marginalized space. Ignoring my privilege. But hopefully bringing up emotions in my marginalized space will help me bring emotions to my privileged space as well.

Post 100

This is my 100th post!

Here are some photos from the last couple of weeks... Enjoy!

Sunrise on Easter morning, I went to Red Rocks with a couple of friends.

These doves were released at the Easter service. I imagined there were 32.

Rockies home game #2. I attended with Brent and later Eryka came and sat with us. I also photo stalked Erin. I am creepy, I know.

One of the flowers in my birthday bouquet from Ciani. I really love macro photography.

Auto-Pilot

Today, while driving to the laundry mat my brain switched into auto-pilot when I started thinking (a dangerous pastime, I know) about the month of April and if there will ever be a time that certain dates in April won’t be remembered on the calendar and I won’t wait so anxiously for them. Then I realized that I’ll probably always remember, since my birthday is 11 days before and Julia’s is 1 day after.

I kept thinking, stayed in auto-pilot, and I'm pretty sure I didn't hit any pedestrians.

I used to always forget Julia's birthday.

For most of Julia’s childhood I could never remember what day her birthday was in April. Never mind the fact that I used that she was born in April to my advantage. When she was younger I convinced her that us April Babies needed to stick together and did a pretty good job of getting her to do whatever I wanted just by playing the “April Baby” card… she played it too, no one is blameless here.

My forgetfulness changed in 2007.

April 16, 2007: Virginia Tech had 32 Hokies stolen from us, very suddenly and very horrifically.

April 17, 2007: Julia’s Birthday.

Julia’s birthday was pretty significant for me that year. Natalie, Emma and I were all in Blacksburg during that spring and the night of April 17^th was the first time we had all been together since everything happened on campus the day before. We lit candles together at the vigil; my candle was silver with a ‘Go Diego Go!” cup on it, which I still have. Then we went over by the big tree outside of Williams and Pamplin to call Julia. We huddled around my phone and sang her Happy Birthday. Julia had convinced my mom to take her to Mahi Mah’s for her birthday dinner (fancy, good work J). So we interrupted their dinner to each have a moment to talk to the birthday girl after our song. I went last, I wasn’t much in the mood for a long chat so I tried to keep it short with, “I love you, I hope you had a wonderful day.” Julia said “don’t hang up yet… mom said you had friends that died, are you okay? (yeah, Thanks Julia, I'm doing okay) I know how hard it is to lose someone, my grandpa died last year.” I don’t very much like crying, in fact, I avoid it as much as possible, but her words almost created instant tears. I almost couldn’t stand up after she said that. I had been home when her grandfather died and we had snuggled a little but we never talked about how upset she actually was about him dying. (For clarification, Julia and I have different Dad’s and so it was her grandfather and not technically mine.)

Julia’s comment continues to be one of the most significant moment’s for me after April 16^th. I had never imagined that someone as young as her would ever understand the grief associated with death. Even when I know that people lose loved ones daily, I never imagined my sister being able to articulate the feelings and be there as a support for me during one of the most emotionally challenging weeks of my life.

Thank you, Julia. I love you.

Yes, she is giving herself bunny-ears in the picture.

Job Search: Done.

As I was in the middle of my job search, my dad and I had this conversation about "wants" versus "needs" for my next position in Residence Life. He was quick to say, "while staying in Colorado is a want, Susan, it is not a need." It's true, being in Colorado is not a need, currently location is not a need for me. I think for most people location is a need when they're in a romantic relationship, which I am not, as much as Cindi is trying to remedy that (that's another story, haha).

Well, yesterday, April 1st. And this is not an April Fool's joke. I got what I wanted. I was offered, and accepted, a Hall Director position at the University of Northern Colorado! How it all happened is actually quite a funny story...

At about 2:10 p.m. yesterday, I was in a 1:1 with Nick, my cell phone rang and I happened to see the phone number. Area code: 703. Which means I knew instantly it was a (Virginia) school calling. Nick's 1:1 ended around 2:30 p.m. and the next few minutes went as follows:

2:35 p.m.: Return phone call to Area Code: 703 school, was offered an on-campus interview. It would happen one day over the next 2 weeks, today they were confirming I wanted to visit and where I would need to fly in from. Tomorrow they were going to call and talk about logistics with me.

2:36 p.m.: text message a friend in Area Code: 703 and let them know I would be in town in the next 2 weeks, and to get excited.
2:36 p.m.: Call Amanda Paez (Area Code: 757) to tell her where I got an interview. She responded with great joy that "yay! you might move back to EST!"

2:42 p.m.: Phone call from Area Code: 970 (Colorado). Now the phone ringing caused quite a reaction from me, my heart started racing, I ran from the printer at the front desk back to my office to answer, I did my very best to calm myself down but when someone offers you a job it's a bit too exciting to not be completely freaking out. So I, of course, accept. It's the job I want after all. The conversation was actually quite hilarious. I said to Chris, "I was really hoping you were going to call on Monday cause this would be a great birthday present!" He thought I meant the Monday earlier in the week, laughed and said, "Sorry, we couldn't make our decision that early." So I responded, "oh no, I mean Monday is 2, 3, 4... the Monday next week." (clearly my brain had stopped working and I couldn't do the math of Thursday to Monday is 4 days.) Then, just to clarify, I said "and this isn't an april fool's joke, right?" He laughed again and said "oh my gosh, I didn't even realize the date, nope not an april fool's joke." (Thank goodness!)

2:46 p.m.: Call Devin to be like "um, that wasn't bad, right? I should easily be able to cancel the 703 interview, right?" She gives my some vocabulary to use, and thank goodness I was so excited I don't think I spoke in coherent sentences the rest of the day.

2:52 pm.: "Hi, so I'm in an interesting job search situation and I'm hoping that you haven't purchased an airline ticket yet... (nope). I had an on-campus interview last week and they just called to offer my a position, I'm going to accept it, so I'm sorry but I have to decline an on-campus interview at your school." The lady congratulated me and asked where I would be headed. I told her, Northern Colorado. I had just told her 10 minutes earlier I was in Denver, so she said, "that's great, you'll get to stay close to home... (I laughed and I think she realized she had called and I had returned her call via my 757 cell number, prompting)... well, is Colorado home for you?" I said, "no, actually Virginia Beach is home." To which she laughed and said, "well that sounds great anyway." I thanked her for her help with everything and hung up.

I think I bounced around my office and my apartment for the next two hours before taking myself to the gym for probably the best workout I've had since I got my boot off.

0 + 14 = 14 and 65 - 45 = 15

The other day I was sitting behind the desk (sans my boot- because it was the end of the day and I had only been in my office sitting writing a paper) when I asked everyone if my legs appeared to be 2 sizes, I had noticed while I was at home that my left leg looked slighting smaller, but I needed some confirmation. My staff agreed, my left leg was slightly smaller.

I then decided that measuring was necessary-
My right leg measures 15 inches around.
My left leg measures 14 inches around.
Awesome.

I should be out of my boot on Thursday!! At least I really, really hope the doctor says I'm out on Thursday. The only discouraging news I got about my uneven legs is that my friend, who broke their leg 2 years ago, still has uneven legs! I am hopeful that since they probably had to stay in a boot longer, and they continued to jump off their left leg for basketball, that I will not be uneven for as long as them- theirs sounds permanent.

It's not a big deal. Just the future of humanity.

Time Lapse

From Weather.com of the snow in Maryland... I really enjoy the way the tree limbs start bending.

I'm in a boot...

Not nearly as cool as "I'm on a boat"...

I had a follow-up appointment with HCC today after my MRI last week. I was incredibly nervous about it since the doctor I was seeing has annoyed me in the past, he never seems to take me very seriously when I report pain or have an injury. This time, I had some pictures on my side...

My MRI report shares the following "findings":
Markers were placed at the side of the patient's pain. At the approximately the level of the marker's, there is a periosteal reaction in the anteromedial aspect of the cortex of the distal tibial shaft at the junction of the middle and distal third. There is also subcortical marrow edema at the same location. No stress fracture line is seen through the cortex at this site. However, findings are consistent with high-grade stress reaction. There is no other abnormal signal within bone. There is mild subcutaneous soft tissue edema at the anteromedial aspect of the mid to distal lower leg. There is no muscle or tendon tear. However, there is a very low-grade strain at the medial-most aspect of the soleus and medial gastroonemius muscle, just above the level of stress reaction in the tibia. There is also very minimal edema in the lateral gastrocnemius musculotendinous junction consistant with a low-grade strain. No soft tissue fluid collection or soft tissue mass.

So we talked about timeline of healing. What my diet looks like, I need more calcium. Then he said, "if it were my daughter, she'd me in a boot." Which meant, I was getting a boot. While he usually frustrates me, using the context of his own child (he has two kids, I see them at men's basketball games), made my feel like he was taking me seriously and making sure I was getting the care I needed.

I'm booted. It's really attractive and today matched my outfit really nicely. Tomorrow, I hope for the same. The one nice thing, I'll probably get away with wearing flats at The Placement Exchange... flats and a boot but flats none the less!!

Bagels and Coffee

This morning over a bagel and coffee, I was catching up with a friend, as we usually do with bagel and coffee about every three weeks or so. Most often these catch-ups involve conversations about guys that we may or may not have hit it off with, well really all the "have not hit it off with" that have happen in the days since we have last saw each other.

This week, I started thinking... yes, this is starting to sound like a Sex and the City column... we basically tell the same story over and over: I met this guy, I wasn't sure how I felt, we hung out a couple times, I decided I was interested, and he stopped seeming interested/calling.

Let's define further the "I decided I was interested." I won't speak for my friend, but I know for myself that I am pretty guarded with my emotions when it comes to the possibility of relationships. So "I decided I was interested" really means "I decided to let my guard down and be open to the idea of my emotions being involved in this." Not speaking for my friend, our conversations lead me to believe that she's pretty similar.

Really what I wonder, is the point at which girls allow themselves to become emotionally invested or even just open to allowing emotions to be there, the point at which guys decide that backing out is a good idea?

It's like a tipping point, that isn't related to an epidemic.

The other piece that I wonder, if girls were to allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable from the beginning, would it provide more or less success in the outcomes of the relationship development? And where are guys in this equation? Are they ever emotionally vulnerable? Were they at the beginning and we (girls) don't pick up on it?

My wondering is only focused on heterosexual relationships, I don't know if the same situations and questions hold true for those in homosexual relationships. I haven't experienced a homosexual relationship, so I can't speak from that experience, only my own and the conversations I have with another heterosexual female.

It's all something to think about at least.

Currently Counting Down...

Baseball season/ 26th Birthday: 70 days
Colfax Half Marathon: 111 days
Graduation: 130 days

Not being able to work out and hurting every time I step had been very upsetting. My routine has been disrupted, not okay. It's made me lose a tad bit of motivation for things, like reading for class.

Random story of the weekend:
I was visiting with my friend KB, we were going to make cookies and we needed butter. So we took a walk, two blocks north and two blocks west to a little grocery in the neighborhood. We walked so we could bring Matilda. I waited on the corner with Matilda while KB ran into the store.

The battery on my phone was dead, so I missed a text message from my friend, E.

The conversation went something like this:
E: I just saw your identical twin!!
S: Where??
(later on facebook)
E: your twin was spotted at 12th & Steele around noon. It was nuts, I almost got in a wreck because of the double take I shot her.
S: Was she walking a little dog?
S: oh, just kidding. I was on 12th and Madison around noon... which is only three blocks away...
E: I SAW YOU!!!!! SO RANDOM! What were you doing over there?!
S: My friend lives over there and we were going to get butter to make cookies! Haha that is so funny that you saw me... and sad that I don't have a twin.. :)

I am my own identical twin, hahaha. What's actually funny, E is a twin.

Not smiling today.

I just returned from the doctor's office. My leg pain got pretty unbareable.. pretty much every step hurts, by the end of yesterday I was basically limping.

"No running, I'm going to be the bad guy since you're probably not going to do that yourself..." - Doctor

I have been told to schedule an MRI. Which I tried but they don't have the fax from DU yet. So I'm waiting and taking max doses of ibuprofen. I hate taking medication, so that kind of sucks.

The good news is that the doctor ruled out stress reaction/ stress fracture. So says my Radiology Requisition Form...

31, feels like 25

Today, I decided I needed to go on an outside run. The temperature was amazing this morning (sarcasm). When I got home it was 31, feels like 25. Pretty sure when I left it was 29, feels like 22. There is snow in the forecast. I'm going to guess that's going to have an impact on my training...

I went about 2 miles. Which, for as much as my leg hurts, I feel like that was a pretty big feat! I'm icing right now. I took meds before I left, but they are refusing to start working. I swear I'm going to schedule a doctor's appointment for next week.

Funny story from yesterday: In staff meeting, I was sitting next to my current/former boss, so I said "Guess what!... I'm training for a half marathon!" She replied, "that's awesome... as you're eating a doughnut... hahahaha" It was pretty funny. We all need breakfast, regardless of how sugary sweet it is, besides, I enjoyed sliced apples after that.

Countdown: 118 Days

I have decided to train for and run my first half marathon. I say "my first" like there is a chance I'll do a second... I'm always hopeful. :)

I believe my blog will likely turn into regular updates on how training is going.

Right now, the shin splint on my left leg is making all forms of exercise awesome, including the dance party I had with myself this afternoon. Last week I pulled my hamstring, which also made working out awesome, actually it completely stopped the whole idea of working out. I don't know that it is actually better, I just got impatient and went to the gym on Saturday anyway.

Smart life choices right now: Training for a half marathon, while taking graduate school courses, while keeping on top of my assistantship and internship, while searching for a job... whoo- go me...

In job search news: some jobs have been posted in geographic areas that I am interested in... and there is at least one that I really, really want :)

@DU_MHoops

Of the 15 players on the men's roster, 13 of them have lived in my building since I started working at DU. So it's a pretty safe bet that if you ever run into them, I can tell you who they are. Which makes basketball games all that much more enjoyable.

But this blog is not dedicated to them because of their entertaining win against Western Kentucky on Sunday... oh no, this honor is because they cracked me up at lunch on Monday.

I walked into lunch to see a player walking over to the television and asking students around if they mind if he changes the channel. ESPN was on but he changed the channel to whatever channel was replaying the DU vs. WKU game.

I kind of laughed at little and got my food.

Then I noticed that there were two tables of basketball players. One sitting close to the television, all facing the television. The other sitting a bit away from the television, almost completely turned around, while still eating, watching the television. This I found to be amusing. It got funnier when my friend happened to walk by the table and hear "oh, I think I'm about to be on camera!"

Knowing at least one of the players as bit more in depth that casual hellos in passing, I stopped by the table to ask if they had missed the game yesterday. The response: "this was a great game!" I replied that I knew, I was there. Then gave a little teasing that it didn't look like they were being narcissistic at all. They responded with pointing verbal fingers at the senior who had turned the volume up.

Monday lunch was that much more enjoyable thanks to them. Their excitement to watch themselves was amusing. And I didn't run into the boy I had screamed in fear of- don't worry, he's not going to hurt me. I'm still pretty embarrassed about it, even if I'm joking about it...