Bagels and Coffee

This morning over a bagel and coffee, I was catching up with a friend, as we usually do with bagel and coffee about every three weeks or so. Most often these catch-ups involve conversations about guys that we may or may not have hit it off with, well really all the "have not hit it off with" that have happen in the days since we have last saw each other.

This week, I started thinking... yes, this is starting to sound like a Sex and the City column... we basically tell the same story over and over: I met this guy, I wasn't sure how I felt, we hung out a couple times, I decided I was interested, and he stopped seeming interested/calling.

Let's define further the "I decided I was interested." I won't speak for my friend, but I know for myself that I am pretty guarded with my emotions when it comes to the possibility of relationships. So "I decided I was interested" really means "I decided to let my guard down and be open to the idea of my emotions being involved in this." Not speaking for my friend, our conversations lead me to believe that she's pretty similar.

Really what I wonder, is the point at which girls allow themselves to become emotionally invested or even just open to allowing emotions to be there, the point at which guys decide that backing out is a good idea?

It's like a tipping point, that isn't related to an epidemic.

The other piece that I wonder, if girls were to allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable from the beginning, would it provide more or less success in the outcomes of the relationship development? And where are guys in this equation? Are they ever emotionally vulnerable? Were they at the beginning and we (girls) don't pick up on it?

My wondering is only focused on heterosexual relationships, I don't know if the same situations and questions hold true for those in homosexual relationships. I haven't experienced a homosexual relationship, so I can't speak from that experience, only my own and the conversations I have with another heterosexual female.

It's all something to think about at least.