To be honest, I don't even remember what day it was. It was either August 19, 2007 or April 16, 2008.
On the Drillfield during a memorial event, 32 balloons were released, 1 a minute for 32 minutes. The picture above is of the balloons that were released after the 32 were individually released. I am a visual person, but I don't need a picture to remember this image forever.
I was standing on the Drillfield in a crowd. I remember being tired of standing. The balloons were being released and I was fixated on watching one fly and then being summoned by the bell to return my gaze to see another one released, then turning back to see both flying off. The balloons left, almost equal distance apart by the wind and flew North East from campus, over the Pylons. I stared until I couldn't see them anymore.
As the first one drifted out of my vision, I searched the sky trying to find it again, I couldn't. I thought, "it's gone... forever..." That was a powerful moment, as my next thought was,"forever, they're (friends) gone forever. like I'll never see them again. oh my god." Permanence hit me like a brick being dropped on my chest.
I'm terrified of losing my memory, a pretty ration fear as my grandmother had Alzheimer's. I don't want to forget memories, so I take pictures. It took me a week to use my camera after April 16, 2007. And even then, I didn't take pictures of campus. Those images are burned into my memory and I'm sure I'll never forget them.
1 comment:
suz, i love you. you are such an amazing person, inside and out. i'm so proud of everything that you have done in your life, and how many people you have positively affected. i can't even imagine how you must have felt about the tradgedy that happened, but i am amazed at how you as a person handled it. selfishly, i wish that you were on the east coast, but i know that you are doing great work out in denver. hope to see you soon! keep smiling, my love! : )
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